“To Love or be Loved”
INTRODUCTION
“Love”
“Now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
In my journey in life. I learn to love myself more importantly, but there's a little part that needs to be filled. That is to love someone.
I've never been fallen in love to a girl that is dear to me. Until one day in my third year in my secondary. I fall in love with Claire. She's beautiful, king and has a beautiful heart. What is meant to be is she's my first crush. The real one, I was deeply encourage to strive in my studies because of her. See her everyday. But it bugs me because I can't talk to her personally because I am overcome by my shame. Until then I was frustrated with her, that was because we're not meant for each other. Now I wanted her to be my friend. It was totally finished. When I fall in love again, the smart, the genius and the cute lady. She's Michelle, it started when I texted a friend of who was her textmate . It then appeared the name of Michelle, I think about it, who is she? Then I found out she's the young girl who looks a little one. Then I asked her number the next day. I texted her then and we exchanged our messages to each other. Then I started falling in love with her. Until now in my fourth year. My heart has never changed how I feel for her. Even if I forget her, it really force me to fall much stronger and begin to put a good place here in my heart where she should belong.
Well known scientist and writer Henry Drummond conducted a geological survey of South Africa and wrote what was the definite work on tropical Africa. But he is best known for his book about love, The Greatest Thing In The World.
Drummond wrote,” its memory sense the past, above and beyond all transitory pleasures of life. There leap forward those supreme hours when you have been enabled to do unnoticed kindnesses to those around you, things too trifling to speak about. And these seem to be the things which alone of all one's life abide.”
Paul warned that impressive gifts and spectacular deeds may be little more than empty noise. Our best efforts-if benefit of love-ring hollow. “Though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, . . . but have not love, it profits me nothing.” The smallest loving act can hold eternal significance.
We love because He first loved us,
He gave so we can give;
We love because he first touched us,
He died so we can live.
In general, what is to love and be loved?
BODY
RATIONALE
OUR TEACHER in philosophy once asked our class whether it is harder to love or to be loved. I did not have a clue on how to answer the question, but I took it to heart. After a few bottles of cheap wine and nights spent until dawn, the question gained contour. But instead of finding an answer, the first thing that came to my mind was another question: What is to love?
I am not entirely sure if what I have arrived at is true, given the limited experiences I have. The only thing I am sure of is that love entails some letting go. It is allowing the other to grow, to pursue his happiness even if that pursuit does not include my own. Love keeps one happy with the thought that the one you let go will be happy, even if it means being without him. As Marcel would put it, "To love anybody is to expect something from him, something which can neither be defined nor foreseen; it is at the same time in some way to make it possible for him to fulfill this expectation." In setting him free, the only expectation I can hold now is that he will be happy. But it is by letting go that I can give him the possibility of being happy.
Even without this other person, loving transforms life into living. Love puts action into life. Life is not life when lived in passivity. Life becomes dynamic when one loves. Love colors the boredom that the routine of life brings. Breathing is no longer just for the purpose of keeping the self alive, it becomes living for the loved one.
Is loving the same as having? It is not. If I claim ownership of someone, he will not be the same person I loved when he was not my possession. Owning something is the same as personalizing it. If an object is personalized, it loses its character. It becomes a reflection of the self. When this happens, then what I love is myself, not the other.
Having someone makes it so much harder to let him go. But if one just loves with respect for the other person, then letting go becomes less difficult. It will never be easy, because there will always be a desire to have that person. Maybe it's human nature to be greedy and to want what one loves. But in the course of having, love disappears.
So loving someone is hard. It seems to be having but it is not. It is a conscious action so that it is not allowed to turn into ownership. It is a giving in to one's very nature, to one's desire to want the best for the loved one. But at the same time, it also entails some control over one's natural impulse to own.
But what is it to be loved? I believe that being loved entails utmost patience. Being loved is an act based on the other person. It is hard in the sense that one cannot control how the other loves. It is like having a stranger hold one's hand. There is fear that this person will lead one to an unknown place. There is apprehension that it will into a grasp. What if he does not let go? The only thing that can loosen this grasp is time.
Patiently waiting for time to knock some sense into the other or the self is probably one of life's hardest tasks. Time stretches into infinity when one is holding on to someone even if it is not reciprocated. There is again this notion that one can have this person but the truth is, one can never have him or anyone else for that matter.
Is it not hard to know that a person does not love you the way you want him to? It is one of life's greatest tensions: the incongruence between how one is being loved and how one loves. To be loved is also hard because it involves acknowledging the possibility that one can never control how the other person loves. It involves an uncertainty which can condense into fear.
So which is harder between loving and being loved? I still haven't come to a conclusion. The intensity by which love impacts a person can make everything both easy and hard. To love someone makes it easier to live, but at the same time, life can be harder because that someone can never be owned. To be loved entails patience which forms character. But it also involves a fear, an uncertainty.
The more important question is, will love ever be easy? I want to believe it is, but life proves otherwise.
ANALYSIS
What is lo love and be loved?
What makes a certain person feel “special”,”right”, desirable, lovable to someone else? On what basis are our emotional choices actually made- those loving attachments which, once formed, will serve to organize and dictate so many aspects of our lives?
The answer to such questions are, in some respects, so elusive that is seems naive even to attempt asking them. And yet what can be said is that each one of us carries within himself/herself a set of deeply held beliefs-a pattern for being in an intimate relationship which is a template of sorts, a set of assumptions about what loving and being loved is really like.
Love. As what is defined as warm affection. To love is a warm feeling that each experiences, it may be a sign of strength and courage. To love someone that is dear to your heart is also called as fulfillment to some. May be its because to love someone is a great feeling and it conquers every lonesome heart. To be loved is meant someone loves you. And this is a nice feeling because someone is concerned and always there as guidance. Loved by someone is the foundation of building a better relationship and a productive one. But neither of them is to be altered for the reason that you need to have an accompaniment. It is worse if someone doesn't love you. Just for example a guy is torn between two questions, that is to love your love that makes your heart grew fonder or to love the one that loves you, cares for you and is concerned for you. But then he choose both.
Big effect was on me when I read the article to be loved and to love. The mere fact that we are capable of having emotion that our heart desires. It is by our decision on what we'll choose. Both questions are hard. Because it is by choosing. It's like trial and error. But with this I feel courage to choose between them by using all my senses or my state of mind. I will polish the questions by choosing the best.
Actually, this article deals about our emotion. There's no such thing as bad effect because it is a nature. We can improve this by making by good decision in choosing between the two. It depends on the beholder whether to choose the either but we should make sure it has positive effect on the other. We should make sure that we should take a step to a better future. If we must choose we should put in mind that in every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. The positive effect on this side on the other hand is to have someone letting go and having a freedom. Allowing the other to grow and to pursue one's happiness. Once you let go there will be a nice feeling for you and for her.
“Love Never Fails” as what my best friend once said. She pointed out that in every relationship, there should be TRUST. The greatest of all is to love each other. What more is there's everything if it lacks love. Yes, I affirm to her statement because it is where the beginning starts. Love is not life when passivity. Love gives meaning to our existence. That is why there's longevity. . .
The values I've learned is “FREEDOM”, in every relationship there's letting go. Everyone has its liberty. We are more in joy if we know that the other is happy. Freeing someone is loosing. And in loosing there's always a new beginning. In one side I learned to be “SENSITIVE” , perhaps it gives me more idea to loose for a better beginning. You should always be aware of what will be the consequence in doing such decision. Being sensitive is what everyone should uphold in a relationship. Lastly, I learned to be “OPEN-MINDED”, being open is a component in an everlasting relationship even though there's failure, it simply means to strive more and develop confidence.
The values are necessary in my total development because it's like a component in my existence. It I have none of this, it will look dull and inappropriate. It's the one way in surviving such obstacles. You depend on it and believe in it.
“LOVE”, this topic is related to the present situation of the Philippines because it is the most important unit in a nation to measure its oneness. To love the country is the best way we can show the world. We should put in mind, if we reached the pinnacle of our mission behind this is love. Love to everything.
In general, love is powerful in our aspects in life, the greatest thing in the world. The word that will give us everlasting eternity.
CONCLUSION
“Love colors the boredom to the routine of life”
The result of my analysis is to love and be loved. If we choose to love someone, why not? It's our decision and choice. Being loved by someone is a nice way in which someone is cared and is the there for you.
No matter our age or status in life, we all can strive to love others as God loves them. We may accomplish great things in our life-gain fame and fortune-but the greatest thing is to love. For of all that we have done, or ever will do, only love endures. We depart, but love abides.
REFERENCES
http://services.inquirer.net/print/print.php?article_id=90459
www.rbcinternational.com
